There Are Two Types Of Pain: The One That Hurts You And The One That Changes You

People do not come into this world with enough skill to manage pain. Despite being something common in our life cycle, and experiencing it only when we came into the world, no one has offered us a manual to survive suffering.

As children we unburden ourselves with tears but, as we grow up, we are told that crying is not good, that it is something that only the weak do. It is then when we begin to internalize, silence words and hide.

Emotional education is not something that is taught in educational centers,  and our parents sometimes have no skills when it comes to getting started in these fields. They may find it difficult to help us deal with frustrations, disappointments, and disappointments.

It is we, through our experiences, who must learn to survive. Now, there is something that we must be clear: there are many types of emotional pain. There are some that hurt and others that make us change to move forward.

Two types of pain: learning to accept adversity

There are those who refuse to accept pain in each of its forms.  Some mask physical pain with painkillers and others shy away from emotional pain, pretending it doesn’t exist.

It’s a mistake. Any sensation of pain is a symptom of an internal problem that must be known. Either a disease, in case of physical pain, or a problem not dealt with correctly.

Nor can we ignore that emotional problems can become somatized and thus lead to physical pain, fatigue or musculoskeletal problems.

How do we deal with daily adversity?

You should not be surprised if we tell you that it is necessary to learn that this dimension exists. Therefore, it is vital that, from our childhood, we are made to understand the following issues:

• As much as our fathers, mothers or grandparents try, they cannot always take care of us, nor guarantee absolute happiness in every step we take.
• Children must learn to manage frustration, because you do not always get what you want.
• If we educate in emotional maturity, we will give multiple strategies to the little ones so that each day they are able to face those sources that can cause them pain.
• With good self-esteem, they will overcome possible criticism from classmates. If they are autonomous, if they strive to achieve their goals, they will know that many times achieving something is not exempt from certain suffering.
• Knowing from childhood and adolescence that adversity is something that may appear more than we would like, will make us realize that “these are moments to put ourselves to the test. ” To show what we are capable of.

We understand that it is not easy to make children see that life can sometimes be very complex. As mothers and fathers we wish them the best, but we cannot overprotect them or put them in a bubble.

Above all, we must offer them an emotional education that fosters their maturity  so that they better channel disappointments, know how to vent, love themselves more and improve each day in their quest to be happy.

Pain is the most severe teacher

We wish it didn’t exist. We would love to erase pain and suffering from our lives and the lives of those we love, so that nothing will disturb our balance. However, there are some principles that we must assume and internalize for our good.

Life flows and changes. Nothing is stable and we are part of the movement

Some say that to know what happiness is, you first have to suffer. Absolutely. There is no reason to be so extreme. People know very well what it is to be well, satisfied, calm and happy. It is a fundamental good and we know how to recognize it without having to see its antagonist face to face.

Now, there are some mistakes that we sometimes fall into. They are as follows:

• Thinking that happiness and calm will remain forever. We are not prepared to suffer loss, illness or disappointment.
• We forget that life has an innate principle: moving forward. And all progress inevitably brings change, whether good or bad.
• We are all part of that vital movement. It is therefore necessary to allow oneself to bring the rhythm of these changes in the most harmonious way possible.

If we resist such common events as getting old or do not accept that someone may have stopped loving us, we will remain stranded, clinging to suffering.

You have to cry and get angry, of course. It is permissible to get in a bad mood and feel the pain in all its intensity when something happens, but then you must accept it. Later you can be part of that river that life takes us to on a daily basis, where change can bring you good things again .