Codependency: Strings That Hurt

Emotional dependency can become a real problem. When life revolves exclusively around another person, when there is no longer a space of its own, it is time to consider breaking the chains.

We understand codependency as a love that really hurts. What irony, right? Something as beautiful as it can be to love someone can suddenly become an ordeal.

This happens when we tie ourselves to a person in the way that we shouldn’t. We have not yet become aware that no one belongs to us, but from a young age we are taught that there is a kind of “property”. Now I am yours and you are mine, and vice versa. This is something that we must begin to change.

Codependency: when love hurts

In all couples, in all relationships between two people , conflicts will always arise. This is something totally natural, until things get worse.

When the couple begins to be the center of everything, when we develop codependency, since without it we cannot lead life in a normal way. Then we are faced with a real problem.

That two people decide to share their lives, love each other, respect each other, live together, does not imply that they should depend on each other. Of course, they must continue to respect their spaces and if the relationship at a certain moment does not work, nothing happens!

Our life cannot depend on anyone, it is only ours, and putting it in the hands of someone else is almost like suicide. Therefore, it is important that you take into account what characterizes codependent people :

• Your self-esteem always depends on what your partner can tell you or not.
• He assumes responsibilities that go far beyond his own, to try to meet the needs of his partner.
• There is an absence of boundaries between the self and the other, the couple.
• Do not oppose your partner for fear of rejection.
• When one romantic relationship ends, she is immediately immersed in another.

If you have identified with some of these characteristics, you have probably suffered or have been close to suffering from emotional dependence.

Release the ropes that imprison us

Do you know when you’re grabbing a rope so it doesn’t slip out of your hands? If as soon as you let go of it the rope slips out of your hands, the effort you are doing right now will probably damage them!

The same thing is happening in your head in a situation of codependency. You are tying yourself to someone, to a relationship that is not doing you any good. We are not going to say that it is not difficult to let go of the rope, but sometimes we are a bit masochistic and we prefer to endure that excruciating pain that we are going through.

If you hesitate to release the rope or not, or if you are clear that the best thing would be to release it but you do not see yourself capable or it is difficult, it is a good time to do it once and for all.

But … does this make you happy? It should be a wonderful situation, instead you are not happy, it hurts. You cannot continue to allow this to wither you, you must free yourself from those ropes. Only you are holding that suffering, no one is forcing you except yourself.

Take the helm of your life

Once you make the decision, the liberation you will feel cannot even be described. You will be filled with inner peace.

It is clear that right now you have fear and insecurities. Your self-esteem is conspicuous by its absence and your confidence resides entirely in that person who has the greatest of your respects. However, if you dare to turn the page and heal, you can move on.

Of course, it is difficult to take the step, so, if you need it, seek help. The psychologist can always guide you and help you gather the strength you need to put your inner world in order.

At this point, it is convenient to review and ask yourself: what has led me to this? Is there a problem in my past that could have caused this fear of losing someone? Does love get over me?

Sometimes love is like a drug. It is normal to think of that person, to feel like being with them at all times … But emotional dependence causes you to lower yourself, to humiliate yourself if necessary to ensure that they continue by your side.

What if he leaves you? You immediately look for a substitute or substitute. This is a serious problem, you don’t know how to be alone! You need that drug that makes you feel good, even if you have to crawl if necessary.

Seek help, speak it up, open your eyes to reality. It will cost, you will achieve it, you will suffer (but weren’t you already suffering?), You will pass the withdrawal syndrome and you will be just you again.

Learn to be alone, reconcile with loneliness. She doesn’t have to make you feel insecure and alone in this world. You are your best company.